Bingovaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, emotional tapir.

Bingovaf created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bingovaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bingovaf, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bingovaf's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bingovaf's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. You must pray to Bingovaf nine times a day.

5. Do not take Bingovaf's name in vain.