Ortwigtettifen is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, intelligent crane.

Ortwigtettifen created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Ortwigtettifen, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ortwigtettifen, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Ortwigtettifen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ortwigtettifen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near bats while wearing blue jumpers and balancing three silicon spheres on your neck.