Ontnartlunomtgun Kondib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humane bee.

Ontnartlunomtgun Kondib created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ontnartlunomtgun Kondib, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Ontnartlunomtgun Kondib, he will send you a sign.

Ontnartlunomtgun Kondib's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Ontnartlunomtgun Kondib's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Pigs are not to be trusted.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Do not drink alcohol.