Pigbetyatt is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless newt.

Pigbetyatt created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigbetyatt, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pigbetyatt, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pigbetyatt's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Pigbetyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Hide if five cats approach from the north.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Pigbetyatt.

5. Always help porpoises in need.