Bonkrillbut is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonourable fish.

Bonkrillbut created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkrillbut, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bonkrillbut, she will turn you into a duck.

Bonkrillbut's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bonkrillbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always pray immersed in water.