Wikhascen is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, grumpy wren.

Wikhascen created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikhascen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wikhascen, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wikhascen's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Wikhascen's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never chant in the presence of moths.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Never feed gooseberries to foxes while wearing mauve jumpers.