Veenfitton is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, pitiless tapir.

Veenfitton created tapeworms eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenfitton, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Veenfitton, it will come to you in dreams.

Veenfitton's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Veenfitton's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing yellow coats.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Veenfitton in the centre of the settlement.