Volxenbegtim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest giraffe.

Volxenbegtim created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volxenbegtim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Volxenbegtim, it will strike you with lightening.

Volxenbegtim's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Volxenbegtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near swans while wearing blue stockings and balancing six aluminium spheres on your arms.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.