Lanmilkop is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, astonishing squid.

Lanmilkop created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanmilkop, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lanmilkop, it will be very sad.

Lanmilkop's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Lanmilkop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Lanmilkop in the centre of the settlement.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never think about dark energy near mice while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.