Bopcapstig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured lion.

Bopcapstig created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopcapstig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bopcapstig, she will turn you into a plant.

Bopcapstig's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bopcapstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about seals.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near tapirs while wearing magenta shirts and balancing three titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Retreat if seven mice approach from the west.

5. Always look after injured porpoises.