Larntunnak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, cheerful snake.

Larntunnak created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larntunnak, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larntunnak, she will not care.

Larntunnak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Larntunnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Larntunnak loves birds, so they must be respected.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed lots of limes to shrews while wearing white hats.

5. Never look at stars.