Sitcudmot is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate chinchilla.

Sitcudmot created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitcudmot, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sitcudmot, she will turn you into a goat.

Sitcudmot's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Sitcudmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sitcudmot.

3. Sitcudmot loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

4. Hide from yellow aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Never eat green fruit.