Vilquimvin is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, two-faced dolphin.

Vilquimvin created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilquimvin, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vilquimvin, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vilquimvin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vilquimvin's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.