Narlwipbat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish tortoise.

Narlwipbat created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narlwipbat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Narlwipbat, he will turn you into a plant.

Narlwipbat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Narlwipbat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mention shrews.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never paint your neck magenta.