Miptabjen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced otter.

Miptabjen created a bottom quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Miptabjen, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Miptabjen, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Miptabjen's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Miptabjen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Miptabjen.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always help sick swans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.