Jipzagpod is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, moody penguin.

Jipzagpod created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Jipzagpod, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jipzagpod, he will turn you into a tree.

Jipzagpod's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jipzagpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. You must never eat melons.