Gepyartcan Nartnutnib is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest badger.

Gepyartcan Nartnutnib created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepyartcan Nartnutnib, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gepyartcan Nartnutnib, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gepyartcan Nartnutnib's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Gepyartcan Nartnutnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet ear rings.

2. Never feed aubergines to badgers while wearing stockings.

3. Run away from purple hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about dark matter.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.