Vegvognat Toflapzim Lakhotfab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, dishonest salamander.

Vegvognat Toflapzim Lakhotfab created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegvognat Toflapzim Lakhotfab, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vegvognat Toflapzim Lakhotfab, it will ignore you.

Vegvognat Toflapzim Lakhotfab's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Vegvognat Toflapzim Lakhotfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Vegvognat Toflapzim Lakhotfab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Run away if eight grasshopers approach from the west.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.