Tifnartben Dud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing narwhal.

Tifnartben Dud created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifnartben Dud, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tifnartben Dud, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tifnartben Dud's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tifnartben Dud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt whales.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tifnartben Dud.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never eat tomatoes.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.