Midwanveen is a god.

It takes the form of a large, ill-tempered snake.

Midwanveen created light six million years ago.

If you believe in Midwanveen, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Midwanveen, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Midwanveen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Midwanveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never sing in the presence of foxes.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Midwanveen.