Zogbempog is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, amazing hippopotamus.

Zogbempog created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogbempog, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zogbempog, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Zogbempog's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Zogbempog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

2. Never feed lots of rice to sharks while wearing violet tights.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Do not keep four sheep in a large pit.