Zagmadbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil squid.

Zagmadbaf created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagmadbaf, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zagmadbaf, he will turn you into a goat.

Zagmadbaf's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Zagmadbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near frogs while wearing fawn jumpers.

2. Always help sick snakes.

3. Worship no other gods but Zagmadbaf.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near horses while wearing mauve shorts and balancing five aluminium spheres on your hands.

5. You must never eat peas.