Hugnelquag Tanfemwab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, weak unicorn.

Hugnelquag Tanfemwab created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hugnelquag Tanfemwab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hugnelquag Tanfemwab, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hugnelquag Tanfemwab's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Hugnelquag Tanfemwab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine badgers approach from the south.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near moths while wearing brown shorts.

3. Do not take Hugnelquag Tanfemwab's name in vain.

4. Always help mites.

5. Run away from green sheep, for they are unholy.