Fadquafzim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic aardvark.

Fadquafzim created the Sol system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadquafzim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fadquafzim, she will curse you with boils.

Fadquafzim's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Fadquafzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six ducks in a large pit.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Run away from black whales, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Fadquafzim on top of all buildings.

5. Never look at planets.