Parkdussfotgep is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unselfish hydra.

Parkdussfotgep created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkdussfotgep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkdussfotgep, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Parkdussfotgep's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Parkdussfotgep's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must love Parkdussfotgep.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.