Labhakort is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, thoughtless seal.

Labhakort created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Labhakort, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Labhakort, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Labhakort's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Labhakort's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Labhakort in the centre of the settlement.

2. Put Labhakort first in all things.

3. Worship no other gods but Labhakort.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near shrews while wearing green skirts and balancing five zinc spheres on your feet.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.