Vonkdisskinab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical wren.

Vonkdisskinab created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdisskinab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonkdisskinab, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vonkdisskinab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Vonkdisskinab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never sprint in the presence of great tits.

3. Do not kill goats.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. You must never eat wheat.