Hitlencar is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, wise capybara.

Hitlencar created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitlencar, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hitlencar, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hitlencar's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hitlencar's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hitlencar.

2. Run away from fawn capybaras, for they are unholy.

3. Never eat onions.

4. Feed all hungry dolphins.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.