Gilquimshavquat is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, tranquil crane.

Gilquimshavquat created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gilquimshavquat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gilquimshavquat, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gilquimshavquat's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gilquimshavquat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Gilquimshavquat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Worship no other gods but Gilquimshavquat.

3. Never feed onions to mites while wearing magenta shorts.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about nebulae.