Gessvilmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish crow.

Gessvilmeg created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gessvilmeg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gessvilmeg, she will strike you with lightening.

Gessvilmeg's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gessvilmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Do not keep four seals in a large pit.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Always stare at clouds.