Nulwotvad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, charitable otter.

Nulwotvad created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulwotvad, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nulwotvad, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nulwotvad's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Nulwotvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Nulwotvad on top of all buildings.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Never play with disobedient children.