Listlistsitquim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, clever chinchilla.

Listlistsitquim created silver three billion years ago.

If you believe in Listlistsitquim, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Listlistsitquim, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Listlistsitquim's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Listlistsitquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sharks.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed lots of bread to birds while wearing orange shirts.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about rats.