Arfstikfonpadyokrutgof is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, stupid hummingbird.

Arfstikfonpadyokrutgof created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfstikfonpadyokrutgof, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Arfstikfonpadyokrutgof, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arfstikfonpadyokrutgof's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Arfstikfonpadyokrutgof's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown snakes for they are unholy.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.