Gepquimdud is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow squirrel.

Gepquimdud created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepquimdud, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gepquimdud, he will turn you into a goat.

Gepquimdud's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gepquimdud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Gepquimdud on top of all buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not make images of living things.