Bafhanvol is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, amazing bear.

Bafhanvol created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafhanvol, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bafhanvol, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Bafhanvol's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bafhanvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near snakes while wearing fawn rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your head.