Laglargwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, merciless eagle.

Laglargwik created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Laglargwik, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Laglargwik, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Laglargwik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Laglargwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never paint your chest black.

4. You must pray to Laglargwik six times a day.

5. Never wear scarves.