Jenarftabpomnatcanyartsig Fasrigflis is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, annoying tortoise.

Jenarftabpomnatcanyartsig Fasrigflis created viruses four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenarftabpomnatcanyartsig Fasrigflis, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jenarftabpomnatcanyartsig Fasrigflis, she will not invite you to parties.

Jenarftabpomnatcanyartsig Fasrigflis' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Jenarftabpomnatcanyartsig Fasrigflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never talk about dark energy near horses while wearing gray stockings.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. Do not make images of living things.