Bessflanflaghig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, temperamental penguin.

Bessflanflaghig created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bessflanflaghig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bessflanflaghig, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bessflanflaghig's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bessflanflaghig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snails.

2. Sheep are not to be trusted.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help sick capybaras.

5. You must pray to Bessflanflaghig six times a day.