Bifdagvab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid horse.

Bifdagvab created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifdagvab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bifdagvab, he will turn you into a slug.

Bifdagvab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bifdagvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about comets.

2. Do not speak about peas.

3. Never feed cherries to tortoises while wearing jumpers.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never paint your face white.