Begnutrak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful walrus.

Begnutrak created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Begnutrak, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Begnutrak, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Begnutrak's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Begnutrak's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ants.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Never think ill of sick whales.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not make images of living things.