Farnveenmob is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless centipede.

Farnveenmob created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Farnveenmob, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Farnveenmob, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Farnveenmob's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Farnveenmob's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Farnveenmob five times a day.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.