Cinyamman Fatzedbog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonourable octopus.

Cinyamman Fatzedbog created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cinyamman Fatzedbog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cinyamman Fatzedbog, he will torture you forever.

Cinyamman Fatzedbog's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Cinyamman Fatzedbog's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Retreat if seven turtles approach from the east.