Vogtamgen Vongarhin Xemdundum is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, benevolent beaver.

Vogtamgen Vongarhin Xemdundum created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogtamgen Vongarhin Xemdundum, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vogtamgen Vongarhin Xemdundum, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Vogtamgen Vongarhin Xemdundum's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vogtamgen Vongarhin Xemdundum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.