Pogteenceb is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless snail.

Pogteenceb created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogteenceb, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pogteenceb, she will turn you into a sheep.

Pogteenceb's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Pogteenceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near capybaras while wearing mauve dresses.

3. Do not hurt badgers.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. You must never eat onions.