Yarplamrak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart goat.

Yarplamrak created the Sol system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarplamrak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yarplamrak, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Yarplamrak's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Yarplamrak's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yarplamrak first in all things.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near cats while wearing mauve corsets and balancing nine silver spheres on your arms.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Yarplamrak must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.