Ligsintal is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered hippopotamus.

Ligsintal created light seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligsintal, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ligsintal, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ligsintal's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ligsintal's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three ducks approach from the west.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must love Ligsintal.

4. Always help doves in need.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.