Figkin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, contented narwhal.

Figkin created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figkin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figkin, she will have a low opinion of you.

Figkin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Figkin's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Figkin.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Put Figkin first in all things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.