Dubvolyim is a god.

It takes the form of a large, intelligent gorilla.

Dubvolyim created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubvolyim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dubvolyim, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Dubvolyim's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Dubvolyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Hide from brown whales for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.