Honbadkad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, uncaring aardvark.

Honbadkad created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Honbadkad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Honbadkad, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Honbadkad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Honbadkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Never feed lots of corn to horses while wearing magenta jumpers.

3. You must love Honbadkad.

4. Never think about gravity near sharks while wearing red rings and balancing six zinc spheres on your back.

5. Never play with disobedient children.