Zigquimdam is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless gerbil.

Zigquimdam created time and space nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigquimdam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zigquimdam, it will try to impress you with trees.

Zigquimdam's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Zigquimdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red kilts.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never paint your neck gray.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing brown ear rings and balancing seven platinum spheres on your hands.